I lied when I said it wasn’t hurting me to see you because it did. I lied when I said I don’t have feelings for you because I do. I’m in love with you. This is the first time I’m even admitting it to myself. The last couple of weeks I have been nothing short of depressed. I have had no motivation to do anything. I have spent endless hours just sleeping. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to do anything. I hate the way you’ve just torn me a part and you don’t even know it. I hate the fact that I lied to you and now I’m hurting more than anything. I hate sounding like a psycho obsessive lunatic bitch but right now I just have feelings… All these feelings that I’m too afraid to tell anyone. I’m scared to open up to anyone that’s not you. It would be so much easier to just forget you and move on but I can’t. I don’t want to because I don’t truly believe that you’re ready to let me go. Unless you can honestly look at me in the eyes and say it I won’t believe you. I know you won’t ever do that. I miss you so much. So fucking much. Every day I just have so much to tell and share, so much that I feel and always begin to tell you… Realise that I need to let go.. Backspace and clear message then wait for you to message me first. You don’t call me anymore… You don’t have a conversation with me anymore. I honestly think this is because you’re scared of knowing what I’m doing without you. I love the random nights you spend with me. They make me so happy! Just being with you makes me happy. Then you leave and I’m left wondering again. When you don’t have feelings for someone you don’t kiss them the way you kiss me.. You don’t hold them the way you hold me and you don’t speak to them the way you speak to me. I don’t know how to feel because of you! You can tell me one thing… But your actions speak louder than words.

fineandbambi:

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(Source: aesopy, via uglybarbie)